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Friday, April 30, 2010

The Other "Parent"


Well if you have followed my blog from the start you know that my family is a blended family. My son's father is in and out of his life.

Blended families are absolutely difficult in every way. We have one parent that chooses to be involved and parent at his own convenience... and my significant other who is stuck picking up the pieces and cant catch a break because even though my son loves him very much he will always think his dad hung the moon. Which unfortunately couldn't be farther from the truth.

Now a little background for you... his biological father would more than likely not be involved at all if it weren't for his mother (Bryce's Grandmother) she basically bribes him to be involved. He is in his late 20s cant hold a job, has no where to live, cannot keep a car for some reason, parties, has a different girlfriend every week, has a new plan for his life every month (most of which involve him moving and not seeing Bryce) and has never paid a dime in child support in five years (yet has illegally claimed him on his tax returns repeatedly) His mother who loves Bryce very much has it in her head that because of her sons lack of responsibility, that when i take away time from him ... i am taking away time from her... she believes for some reason that i will not allow her to see Bryce. This is frustrating because i work with her on a regular basis to see Bryce whenever she would like. Well she bribes her son to be involved.. by saying she will pay off debts, pay for an apartment sometimes (which he still manages to lose) and basically feeds him lines to tell the courts so they hear what they want from him she does all of this as long as he agrees to fight for his time with Bryce, which makes it difficult for me edit the custody plan to fit Bryce. I have tried talking to her over and over and even though she can sometimes admit what a loser he is; she also argues back how she deserves to see Bryce etc. Its frustrating that if she cares about Bryce so much she would promote this kind of exposure of erratic behavior to her grandson. Well needless to say i have took the back seat for a while and not edited the parenting visitation (Which is used by the grandma and not his father) and i tried to edit that this week and it blew up in my face. It brought out more bribes by her, more court dates, more attorney fees, more headaches, more means text messages and treats, and at some point I'm just not sure how much of their drama i can take. I am praying that this will be the last court date. The last fight.(wishful thinking) I am not sure if she is confused who the parents are... Or should i say PARENT is (single parent) i am so frustrated and hope this will end well; Once and for all. Its difficult to not think in my head..."why didn't you continue to take the backseat and just let her have his visits." But then its brought to my attention that there are other people who would love to see him as well and her having him every other weekend takes away from him participating in sports, and seeing other family members... needless to say I'm stuck between a rock and hard place and pretty much ready to throw my hands up....

I hope the followers out there are having a better week!!!!

Please also don't forget to check out my giveaway ... you can find the button and link on the side of my blog!!!

Have a great day!

xoxox



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5 comments:

Chana said...

I couldn't begin to imagine the frustration you are feeling having to deal with this! How annoying for his mother to make such excuses for her son, who is obviously as selfish as they come. Wow. I'm sorry! But at least your adorable son has YOU as a mother and that will leave a lasting impression on him forever. Maybe it's best that he not have too much influence from the "other" family...they seem to not have it together as much as you do. Good luck!

haagx5 said...

:( hang in there, he's a doll! love his pic above.

Jordan Streetman said...

My father has been one of those fathers that your son has, and all i can say is that I am so thankful for my mother who not until recently I really understood her strength and love for a mother. Especially when the only reason my father was still even in her life was because of me and my brother. It's so amazing to know there are such wonderful mothers out there like my mother and you.

Bossy Betty said...

Yikes. I know how much you must love your son and how much you want for him. It must be frustrating to have to deal with all of this. Hang in there!

sarah said...

His father needs a reality check...I know from experience with my own son in a kind of similar situation that he LOVES is father...and needs him more than his own father realizes. You're doing great, just keep giving him all the love you have been and all the love he always knows he'll get from you forever!

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