I didnt know I had it in me. I didnt know id ever be capable of really embracing motherhood to the extent that I have! My daughter. Amazing. Wonderful. Gives me Reason. Shes all consuming and forever embracing. I cannot express what motherhood has done for and to me. I cannot express how much Auburn has done for and to me. I cannot express the pain that I feel, GUILT, extreme guilt and sorrow. What have I given Her. I cannot begin to say how SORRY i am to my sweet girl. She deserved only the Best, im not the best. She should have a mother and a father, a home of her own with us, Safe, Peaceful, warm and United. What she gets, Broken parents, a broken home. The strength i feel for her on her behalf, is quite incredible. I have done the unthinkable, I walked away from an unhealthy and unsafe situation that Auburn was in. Before her I could do it, I could settle in and dig my feet in, and put up with it all. I could live life everyday trying to save someone else so that My dreams could happen. I could find my self worth in someone else needing me at their convenience and at the same time filling my head and heart with broken and empty promises. But Auburn. Sweet Auburn. She helped me see. She gave me my vision back, my ears, my heart, my head, my convictions-Ruminating Convictions. She gave me the courage. Auburn Rose. Shes my life savor. No matter the pain and sorrow i feel in my heart, my Internal conflicts and battles, my internal Pain, theres nothing more important to me than having the peace of Mind, Auburn Rose is safe, healthy, happy, in peace, in Unity. This is Our Home. This is Our Life. Shes my Own Chariot. Shes my Grace, Strength.
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