Relationship Rehab

Well its been no secret that my week has been rough,(which is why I need to apologize for being M.I.A lately) with the recent murder of a dear friend and with my honey and I recently deciding to separate, the family has been stuck between a rock and a hard place to put things lightly. We were separated for a while when we finally had time to clear our heads and talk. It was one of the greatest nights of my life. We literally just sat and talked until 3 in the morning about everything. It reminded me of when we first started dating and we couldn't stand to get off the phone with each other and once we did we started texting until all hours of the morning. We shared secrets we had never told each other and we found out things about each other we never had any idea about. We developed this new respect for each other and for what we had been each been through in the past. We agreed that this recent decision to be apart and separated was our all time low as were the reasons why we had decided to be apart. From there we decided this is it... we are either going to do this or not and we decided to come up with a game plan.. or Relationship Rehab. We decided we were going to do so many thing to hold each other accountable for showing respect and love to each other, we talked about how there had been so many boundaries crossed in the past few weeks and even months that we can never take back however there may be some changes we can make so our kids do not learn that this is how relationships are. We decided to make quite a few changes. Our Relationship Treatment Plan if you will: 1 we decided we are going to take a preparation marriage class... no we are not engaged but it couldn't hurt. If someone has some
ideas that we may be able to put into place now ... then maybe when the day comes where we actually decide to get married we will already have a system in place. 2 We decided to schedule a specific time every day where we focus on just us... not the kids... not blogs... not Facebook (two of my main addictions that have seemed to come in between us many times in the duration of our relationship). We decided we were going turn off the T.V. and cell phones and just spend 1 hour at least with no distractions talking about our day or reading together or playing Su Doku (something we used to do when we were dating every night together). 3 He has been recently enjoying a few self help books and even though in the past he has never been a reader, he seems to be really enjoying these so we decided we are going to read one together... we have been recommended The Five Love Languages and are very excited to start reading it together. If nothing else this should help us to understand each other so much more and practice holding each other accountable, If we can hold each other accountable on something as simple as reminding each other to read the book... maybe we can hold each other accountable on other things. One of the books he is reading is Don't Sweat the Small stuff and it applies to both of us on so many levels ... letting little annoyances come in the way of our family and letting these little things drag us down all together by being short and nagging and constantly frustrated and on edge with each other. 4 He has decided there are some changes he has to make for himself and I admire that he has taken the steps without being asked to do so and I would like to do the same by turning off all of my distractions and addictions by 4:00 when he gets home and make my evenings about him and the family. 5 Living by the 10 commandments of Marriage (which I will post about at a later time.)

It is clear to both of us that we are very very different people however we are confident that the characteristics that make us so different are characteristics we would each love to have. I love how determined and motivated he is. I love that there is absolutely nothing he puts his mind too and doesn't accomplish. I love that he is so consistent and disciplined financially and in many other areas. He is absolutely the most incredible father I have ever met and he has such a huge heart and I love that! (and if none of those are enough just look how gorgeous he is *wink*) He loves how free spirited I am and how non judgmental I am. We are hoping by recognizing all of these issues, problems and obvious mistakes we can build a foundation for a strong marriage and home life for our children. We want them to never think it is ok to disrespect your partner or spouse and to understand exactly what it is like to live in a home with true love. This separation caused us to miss our 3 year anniversary and celebrate our daughters 1st birthday on rocky terms. Something we never thought would happen or would be the case 3 years ago or even 1 year ago.

I would like to share some pictures of the two of us over the last three years and say one thing to Nick.








Nick, I promise I will be in this for long run and will do any and everything it takes to make sure we have given it all we have. I am confident that we will make it through this and that this will only help us in the long run. I am confident that if we can make it through this... everything in the future will only seems easier and if nothing else will help us to remember our relationship rock bottom so we never hit it again. I love you, our family and the life we have together! Happy 3 year and I am excited to see what the next year brings. I want to be everything you need and want you to know no matter how hard it gets... I am here... until the end and I am in this for the long run. I am going to do my best to use these goals and this time to learn anything I can about you and us and use it and apply it to our future. You have always been everything I have ever wanted and this is still just as true today.

Love Lauren



On a more Random Note:


I am loving this song!